Man, what a day! I swear, being a telephone operator in Nove (ua) is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First call comes in. Some dude on the other end is like, “Yo, I need help with my internet!” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Nove, not the moon. What’s the issue?” Turns out, he’s been trying to connect to Wi-Fi on Vulytsia Haharina for hours. I mean, c’mon! It’s 2023! Get it together, man!
Then, I get another call. This lady is freaking out. She’s lost her cat, and I’m like, “Okay, what’s the cat’s name?” She’s like, “It’s a fluffy ball of chaos named Pusik!” I can’t help but laugh. Pusik? Really? Anyway, she’s crying, and I’m trying to calm her down. I tell her to check around Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. Cats love hiding in bushes, right?
After that, I grab a quick coffee. I hit up this little café on Vulytsia Shevchenka. Best coffee in town, no cap! But guess what? They ran out of my favorite croissants. I’m like, “What is this, a crime scene?” I mean, who runs out of croissants? It’s Nove, not a desert!
Back to the phones. Next call is from some guy who thinks he’s a detective. He’s convinced there’s a conspiracy about the streetlights on Vulytsia Lvivska. I’m just sitting there, rolling my eyes. “Dude, it’s just streetlights. Chill!” But he’s going on and on about how they flicker at night. I’m like, “Maybe they’re just shy?”
Then, the craziest thing happens. My buddy from high school, Taras, calls in. I haven’t seen him in ages! He’s like, “Hey, remember me?” I’m like, “Dude, of course! You owe me 50 hryvnias!” We laugh, and he tells me he’s back in Nove after living in Kyiv. I’m stoked! We plan to grab drinks later.
But wait, there’s more! A lady calls, and she’s screaming about a pothole on Vulytsia Zhovtneva. I mean, it’s a legit crater! I’m like, “Lady, I can’t fix potholes. I’m not a superhero!” But she’s relentless. “You need to report this!” So, I do. Gotta keep the streets safe, right?
Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted but happy. I think about all the wild calls. Nove is full of characters, man. From the cat lady to the conspiracy theorist, it’s never boring.
As I leave work, I stroll down Vulytsia Haharina, feeling the evening breeze. The sunset is gorgeous, painting the sky orange and pink. I can’t help but smile. Nove may be chaotic, but it’s my chaos.
I meet Taras at that café. We laugh about old times, and I finally get my croissant! Life is good. I think to myself, “Tomorrow’s another day of madness.” And honestly? I can’t wait.