Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bouncer in Tyachiv is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I roll into work at this club on Vulytsia Haharina, right? The sun’s just settin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First off, I’m just standin’ there, checkin IDs, when this dude comes up. He’s got a wild look in his eyes, like he just ran a marathon or somethin’. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” And he’s all, “Yeah, man, just got chased by a goat!” A goat? In Tyachiv? I can’t even. Turns out, he was at some festival down by the Tisza River. Classic Tyachiv, right? You never know what’s gonna happen next.
So, I let him in, and the night kicks off. Music’s pumpin’, people are vibin’. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, outta nowhere, this group of rowdy guys shows up. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one of ‘em spills beer all over my shoes. Like, c’mon, man! I just polished these! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’.
I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But they just laugh. Ugh! I swear, if I had a hryvnia for every time I had to deal with idiots, I’d be rich. So, I kick ‘em out. They’re shoutin’ and makin’ a scene on Vulytsia Shcherbanyuka. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta deal with the cops.” But, surprise, surprise, they just walk away.
Then, I see this girl, right? She’s sittin’ alone, lookin’ all sad. I go over, and she tells me her friends ditched her. I’m like, “What kinda friends do that?” So, I grab her a drink, and we start talkin’. Turns out, she’s from Kyiv, just visiting Tyachiv. She’s super cool, and we end up laughin’ about the goat guy.
But then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Like, seriously? In the middle of the night? Everyone’s freakin’ out, runnin’ for the exits. I’m tryin’ to keep people calm, but it’s chaos. I’m shoutin’, “Stay cool, folks! It’s probably just a drill!” But deep down, I’m thinkin’, “If this is a drill, I’m the one who needs a drink!”
Finally, the fire brigade shows up. They’re like, “What’s goin’ on?” I’m like, “Dude, I dunno! Just another night in Tyachiv!” Turns out, it was just some kid messin’ with the alarm. I’m relieved but also annoyed.
After all that, I’m back at the door, and it’s almost 3 AM. I’m exhausted, but then I see the girl again. She’s still there, and she’s got a smile on her face. She says, “Thanks for bein’ nice.” And I’m like, “Hey, it’s Tyachiv! We gotta look out for each other.”
As the night winds down, I’m thinkin’ about how wild this city is. Tyachiv’s got its quirks, for sure. The streets, the people, the unexpected goat chases. It’s all part of the charm. I love this place, even when it drives me nuts.
So, I head home, my shoes still sticky, but my heart’s full. Just another crazy day in Tyachiv, ya know? Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!