Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an elevator operator in Velykyy-Bychkiv is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety harness. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First off, I’m on the corner of Shchurivka and Hrushevskoho, just mindin’ my own biz. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m ready to hit the button for the first ride of the day. But then, boom! This lady rushes in, hair all over the place, like she just got outta a wind tunnel. She’s like, “I’m late! I need to get to the top floor!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s just the second floor. Chill!” But no, she’s all frantic, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool.
So, I hit the button, and we’re off. But then, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can hear her breathing all heavy, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be stuck in here with a tornado.” Turns out, it was just a glitch. Phew! But she’s still freakin’ out. I’m like, “Relax, we’re not in the middle of a horror movie.”
Finally, we get to the second floor, and she bolts outta there like a cat on fire. I’m just standing there, shaking my head. People, man.
Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies in the elevator. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just an elevator, not the Eiffel Tower.” But they’re all, “Say cheese!” and I’m just trying to keep a straight face. They ask me about Velykyy-Bychkiv, and I’m like, “You wanna know about the best borscht in town? Hit up that little place on Karpatska Street. Best stuff ever!”
Then, outta nowhere, this guy comes in, all decked out in a suit. He’s got that serious vibe, you know? He’s like, “I have a meeting on the fifth floor.” I’m like, “Cool, but you might wanna chill. You look like you’re about to take over the world.” He just stares at me. Awkward!
So, I hit the button, and we’re cruising up. But then, the elevator starts shaking. I’m like, “Oh great, now we’re gonna plummet to our doom.” But it’s just a little bump. I’m sweating bullets, and Mr. Serious is just staring at the ceiling like it’s gonna save him.
Finally, we get to the fifth floor, and he bolts outta there too. I’m starting to think I’m cursed or something.
Then, it’s lunchtime. I head over to that little café on Vulytsia Tsentralna. You know the one? They’ve got the best varenyky. I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my food, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s the Olympics. I’m just trying to eat my lunch, and they’re like, “You never listen!” and “You always forget!” I’m like, “Dude, just order some coffee and chill.”
After lunch, I’m back at it. More tourists, more locals, and more weirdos. This one guy gets in, and he’s got a parrot on his shoulder. I’m like, “Is this a joke?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I’m thinking, “What’s next? A goat?”
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I’m ready to go home, kick off my shoes, and forget about the chaos. But as I’m leaving, I see that lady from the morning. She’s back, and this time she’s calm. She walks up to me and says, “Thanks for not freaking out earlier.” I’m like, “Lady, you’re welcome. But next time, maybe don’t run in like you’re in a marathon.”
And that’s a wrap on my day in Velykyy-Bychkiv. Just another wild ride in the elevator of life, I guess!