Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a telephone operator in Askern is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a dreary Tuesday morning, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. The rain’s drizzlin’ down on Station Road, makin’ everything look all gloomy and stuff.
First call of the day? Some bloke from Doncaster, right? He’s lost his cat. I mean, c’mon mate, it’s a cat, not a kid! But I’m tryin’ to be nice, so I’m like, “Yeah, mate, I’ll help ya.” I’m googlin’ “lost cat tips” while he’s ramblin’ on about Mr. Whiskers. Turns out, Mr. Whiskers is a legend around here. Everyone knows him! I’m thinkin’, “Dude, just put some tuna out on the front porch on Askern Lane, he’ll come runnin’.”
Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings again. It’s Mrs. Thompson from High Street. She’s all frantic ‘cause her neighbor’s dog is barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a rock band. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a dog, not a symphony!” But I can’t say that, so I just nod and say, “I’ll pass it on.”
By lunchtime, I’m starvin’. I dash to the local chippy on Doncaster Road. Best fish and chips in town, no joke! I grab a portion, and while I’m munchin’, I see this kid on a bike zoom past. He’s got no helmet, just livin’ life on the edge. I’m thinkin’, “What’s wrong with kids these days?” But then I remember I used to do the same. Ah, nostalgia!
Back at the office, the phone’s ringin’ off the hook. I swear, it’s like everyone in Askern decided to call me at once. I get a call from a guy on Church Street. He’s complainin’ about the potholes. I mean, have you seen those things? They’re like craters! I’m like, “Mate, I can’t fix the roads, I just take calls!” But he’s not havin’ it.
Then, I get a call from my mate Dave. He’s in a right state. Apparently, he’s locked himself outta his flat on Ash Grove. I’m laughin’ so hard, I can barely breathe. “How’d ya manage that, Dave?” I ask. He’s like, “I was tryin’ to impress a girl!” Classic Dave.
The day drags on, and I’m feelin’ the stress. I take a breather outside. The sun’s peekin’ through the clouds, and I see the park on Askern Common. Kids are playin’, people are laughin’. It’s a nice sight. Makes me forget about the chaos for a sec.
But then, bam! My phone buzzes again. It’s a lady from Park Avenue. She’s lost her wedding ring. I’m like, “Lady, you gotta keep track of that stuff!” But I’m tryin’ to be sympathetic. I tell her to check the garden. Maybe it fell off while she was weedin’ or somethin’.
Finally, the clock hits five, and I’m ready to bolt. But just as I’m packin’ up, I get one last call. It’s a kid, probably about ten. He’s callin’ from the library on Askern Road. He’s got a school project and needs help. I’m thinkin’, “Kid, I’m not a librarian!” But I can’t say no. So, I help him out.
By the time I leave, I’m exhausted but kinda happy. Askern’s a wild place, full of characters. I love it, even with all the craziness. I hop on my bike, ready to head home, and I can’t help but smile. What a day, right? Just another Tuesday in Askern!