Man, what a day! I’m a forester, right? Spent most of my time in the woods, chillin’ with trees and critters. But today? Oh boy, today was a whole different ball game. I found myself in Barton-upon-Humber, of all places.
So, I roll into town, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. The old buildings on High Street are all charming and stuff, but I’m like, “Where’s the forest?” I mean, I’m used to the smell of pine, not fish and chips! But hey, I’m game for an adventure.
First stop? The local café, The Old Tile Works. I’m starving, right? I order a bacon butty, and the lady behind the counter gives me this look. Like, “You’re not from around here, are ya?” I just laugh it off. I mean, who doesn’t love a good bacon sarnie? But then, she hands me the plate, and it’s like a mountain of bacon! I’m talkin’ Everest levels here. I’m like, “Am I supposed to eat this?”
While I’m munching, I notice this old bloke at the next table. He’s got a newspaper, and he’s fuming about the council. Apparently, they’re planning to chop down some trees near the Humber Bridge. I’m like, “No way! Not on my watch!” I mean, I get it, progress and all, but come on! Trees are life!
After my epic breakfast, I decide to stroll down to the river. The Humber’s lookin’ all majestic, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this group of kids throwing stones into the water. I’m like, “Oi! What are ya doin’?” They just laugh and keep at it. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but I can’t help but feel a bit annoyed.
Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I’m cracking up! The kid’s face was priceless. I’m thinkin’, “That’s nature for ya!” But then, I see the seagull eyeing my bacon butty. I’m like, “Not today, feathered fiend!” I clutch my sandwich like it’s a golden ticket.
Next, I wander over to the old church on Church Street. St. Peter’s, I think it’s called? It’s stunning! I’m all about nature, but man, the architecture here is something else. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when this lady walks by and says, “Beautiful, innit?” I nod, and she starts chatting me up about the history. Turns out, this place has been around since the 11th century! I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my granddad!”
But then, I get a text from my mate. He’s in a bit of a pickle. His car broke down on the A1077, and he needs a lift. I’m like, “Great, just when I’m finally enjoying myself!” So, I hop back to my car, and as I’m driving, I can’t help but think about how different life is in the city.
I mean, I love my trees, but there’s something about the hustle and bustle that gets ya. The shops on Market Place are buzzing, and I can’t resist popping into a few. I grab a cheeky pint at The George Inn. It’s cozy, and the locals are friendly. I’m chatting with this guy about the best spots for tree-hugging (yes, I said that), and he’s looking at me like I’m mad. But hey, I’m just passionate, right?
Finally, I get to my mate, and he’s standing there looking all sheepish. I give him a hard time, of course. “What were ya thinkin’, mate?” But deep down, I’m just glad to help. We drive back, and I’m reflecting on the day.
Barton-upon-Humber, you’ve surprised me. You’ve got charm, history, and a bit of chaos. I’m still a forest guy at heart, but I reckon I could do with a bit more city life now and then. Just maybe not too much. I mean, I still need my trees!