Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bodyguard in Borrowash is like being in a bloody action movie, but with more rain and less glam. So, I wake up, right? It’s drizzling, typical UK weather. I grab my coffee from that little café on Derby Road. You know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best bacon sarnies. I’m chowing down, thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First thing, I get a call. My client, some big-shot from London, wants to check out the local scene. I’m like, “Dude, you sure you wanna roll in Borrowash?” But he’s all hyped about the “quaint charm” of the place. Whatever, man. So, I meet him at the Borrowash Park. It’s nice, I guess. Kids runnin’ around, old folks feedin’ ducks. But I’m on high alert, ya know?
We stroll down to the High Street. I’m keepin’ an eye out. Suddenly, I spot this sketchy dude hangin’ around. He’s got that look, ya know? Like he’s up to no good. My heart’s racin’. I’m thinkin’, “Not today, mate.” I nudge my client, “Let’s keep movin’.” But he’s busy takin’ selfies with the old church in the background. I’m like, “Bro, focus!”
Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts shoutin’. Turns out, he’s just mad about the local football team losing. But man, the way he was yellin’, you’d think the world was ending. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, it’s just footie, right? But the passion! Gotta respect that.
We finally make it to the pub on Station Road. I’m thinkin’ a pint would chill me out. But nah, my client wants a fancy cocktail. In a pub! I’m rollin’ my eyes, but whatever. I order a lager and keep watchin’. The vibe’s good, but I’m still on edge.
Then, bam! A commotion outside. I rush to the window. Some kids are messin’ around, throwin’ stuff at each other. I’m like, “Seriously? In Borrowash?” I step outside, and it’s chaos. They’re laughin’, but I’m not amused. I shout, “Oi! Keep it down!” They look at me like I’m the fun police. Whatever, kids.
After that, we head to the Borrowash Library. My client wants to check out some local history. I’m thinkin’, “Great, a quiet spot.” But no! There’s a book club meeting. They’re all talkin’ about some romance novel. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face while my client’s askin’ questions. I’m like, “Dude, this is not the time for love stories.”
Finally, we wrap up the day. I’m exhausted. I drop my client off at his hotel on the main road. He’s all smiles, talkin’ about how “charming” Borrowash is. I’m like, “Yeah, charming if you like chaos.”
As I drive home, I can’t help but laugh. This little town is wild. I mean, who knew Borrowash had so much drama? I pull into my driveway, ready to crash. But first, I gotta tell my mates about this day. They won’t believe it.
So, yeah, that was my day. Just another crazy one in Borrowash. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!