Man, what a day! I woke up this mornin’ in my wee flat on Main St, just another day in Coatbridge, right? But nah, today was somethin’ else. I’m a lumberjack, ya know? Trees, axes, the whole shebang. But today? Today was a rollercoaster.
So, I’m headin’ out, right? Got my boots on, flannel shirt lookin’ sharp. I’m thinkin’ about grabbin’ a bacon roll from that wee café on Bank St. Best rolls in town, I swear! But as I’m walkin’, I see this massive tree down on the side of the road. Like, it’s just chillin’ there, takin’ up space. I’m like, “What the heck? Who let this happen?”
I get to the café, and it’s packed! I mean, come on, people! It’s a Tuesday! But I’m not waitin’. I’m too hungry. So I squeeze in, order my roll, and the guy behind the counter spills coffee all over me. I’m like, “Mate, I’m not a mop!” But he’s laughin’ it off. I’m fumin’ but also kinda chucklin’ ‘cause it’s just so ridiculous.
Finally, I get my roll, and it’s glorious. I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s good. But then I step outside, and it starts rainin’. Typical Coatbridge, eh? One minute it’s sunny, next it’s like the sky’s cryin’. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just great.”
So, I decide to head to the woods, ya know? Gotta chop some trees. I’m walkin’ down Whifflet St, and I see this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to fix his bike. I stop, offer to help, and he’s like, “Nah, I got it.” But he clearly doesn’t. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, just let me help ya!” But he’s stubborn. I leave him to it, shakin’ my head.
Finally, I get to the woods. It’s peaceful, just me and the trees. I start choppin’, and it’s like therapy. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I look up, and a branch falls right next to me! I jump like a scared cat! My heart’s racin’. I’m like, “What the actual heck?!”
After that, I’m a bit on edge. I keep choppin’, but I’m jumpy. Then I see a squirrel. Just sittin’ there, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I’m like, “What’s up, buddy? You got somethin’ to say?” It’s like he’s judging my lumberjack skills.
Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe this! The old cinema on Main St is bein’ turned into a pub!” I’m like, “No way! That place was a dump!” But then I think, “A pub? In Coatbridge? That could be fun!”
So, I finish up in the woods, head back to town, and I’m feelin’ good. I swing by the new pub, and it’s lookin’ decent! I grab a pint, and it’s like the day’s turned around. I’m laughin’ with the lads, talkin’ about the old days.
But then, I remember that tree from this mornin’. I’m like, “Someone’s gotta deal with that!” So, I rally the troops, and we head back to sort it out. We’re laughin’, makin’ jokes, and it’s like a mini adventure.
By the end of the day, I’m knackered but happy. Coatbridge, man. It’s got its quirks, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just another day in the life of a lumberjack, eh?