Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a gardener, right? Just your average bloke, diggin’ in the dirt, makin’ things grow. But today? Today was a whole different kettle of fish.
Started off on Main Street, just me and my spade. The sun was out, birds chirpin’, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” Ha! Little did I know. I was just mindin’ my own business, plantin’ some petunias, when I heard this loud crash. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s a delivery van, right smack into a lamppost on Station Street. I mean, c’mon! Who can’t park a van?
So, I rush over, right? I’m thinkin’ I might need to help. But nah, the driver’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ dazed. I’m like, “Mate, you alright?” He just stares at me, like I’m the one who crashed. I mean, I’m no expert, but I reckon he should’ve had his eyes on the road, not on the birds or whatever.
Anyway, after that little drama, I head over to the Cockermouth Castle. Beautiful place, right? I love it there. The gardens are lush, and the history? Wow. But today, it was packed with tourists. I swear, I’ve never seen so many people in one spot. They were all takin’ selfies, and I’m just tryin’ to prune some roses. I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just get by?” But they’re all in their own world, clickin’ away.
Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks over my shears! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’ve got no idea how much those shears cost. I mean, I’m not made of money!
After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll down to the River Derwent. It’s so peaceful there, you know? Just me and the water. I sit on a bench, tryin’ to chill. But then, I see this couple havin’ a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m sittin’ there like a lonely old man. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a gardener catch a break?
But then, surprise! The guy pulls out this massive sandwich, and I’m like, “What’s in that thing?” It looked like a whole farm! I’m droolin’ just watchin’. And then, they offer me a bite! I’m like, “Are you serious?” So, I take a piece, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”
But then, I get back to work, and guess what? My tools are gone! I’m searchin’ high and low, and I’m fumin’. Who steals a gardener’s tools? I mean, really? I’m ready to start a manhunt. I’m thinkin’ of puttin’ up posters: “Lost: One set of shears, reward: eternal gratitude.”
Finally, I head back to Main Street, and I see the delivery driver again. He’s still there, but now he’s got a bunch of people helpin’ him. Turns out, he was just a bit shaken up. I felt kinda bad for him. So, I go over and say, “Hey, mate, you need a hand?” And he’s like, “Yeah, that’d be great.” So, I help him out, and we end up laughin’ about the whole thing.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. Cockermouth is a wild place, full of surprises. I love it here, even with all the chaos. I mean, who else can say they had a day like mine? Just another day in the life of a gardener, right?