Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Dalserf is like a rollercoaster. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the meat I gotta prep. Dalserf’s a small place, but it’s got its quirks. You know, like the weird old lady on Main Street who swears her cat can talk.
Anyway, I’m at the shop on Station Road, and it’s a typical morning. I’m slicin’ up some steaks, and my mate, Dave, pops in. He’s all like, “You hear about the new café on High Street?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s the scoop?” Turns out, they’re servin’ vegan haggis. I mean, c’mon! Who even thought that was a good idea? Haggis without meat? That’s like a fish and chips without the fish!
So, I’m chucklin’ to myself when this customer walks in. It’s Mrs. McGregor, bless her heart. She’s got her shopping list, and it’s longer than my arm. She starts ramblin’ on about her grandkids and how they’re all off to uni. I’m tryin’ to focus on the meat, but she’s got me all distracted. “You should come to my house for tea!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m covered in blood and I smell like a butcher shop!”
Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, some numpty at the bakery down the street burnt their scones. I mean, who burns scones? So, we all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there in my apron, lookin’ like a right muppet.
While we’re waitin’ for the fire brigade, I spot this kid on a bike zoomin’ down the road. He’s got no helmet, just flyin’ past like he’s in the Tour de France. I shout, “Oi! Watch out for the lamppost!” But he just laughs and keeps goin’. Kids these days, I swear.
Finally, the fire brigade shows up, and it’s all a big fuss over nothin’. They give us the all-clear, and I’m back to slicin’ meat. But now I’m in a mood. I’m thinkin’ about that vegan haggis again. I mean, who do they think they are?
Later in the day, I get a delivery of some prime cuts from the market. The guy who brings it is a right character. He’s tellin’ me about his trip to Glasgow and how he got lost in the city. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop a ribeye. “You got lost in Glasgow? Mate, that’s like gettin’ lost in a one-way street!”
As the day winds down, I’m cleanin’ up, and I can’t help but think about how mad and funny today was. Dalserf’s got its charm, you know? The little streets, the folks, even the oddities. Like that time I saw a guy walkin’ a goat on a leash down by the park.
So, I lock up the shop, and I’m headin’ home. I pass by the old church on Church Street, and it hits me. This place, with all its quirks and characters, it’s home. I might be a butcher, but I’m proud to be part of Dalserf. Even if it means dealin’ with burnt scones and vegan haggis.
What a day, eh? Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!