Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Bestiary in Diss is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on St. Nicholas Street. I’m like, “Great, another day to get my face smashed in.” But hey, it’s Diss, so I’m used to it.
First thing, I hit up the local café on Mere Street. Best bacon sarnies in town, no joke. I’m munchin’ away, and this old bloke starts ramblin’ about the weather. Like, mate, it’s England. It’s always gloomy! But he’s all, “Nah, it’s gonna be a scorcher!” I’m thinkin’, “You sure you ain’t been hittin’ the bottle?”
After brekkie, I stroll down to the market. The vibe’s buzzing, people everywhere. I spot this stall selling homemade jams. I’m like, “What’s the deal with jam?” But then I taste this raspberry one, and wow, it’s like a party in my mouth! I’m grinnin’ like a kid in a sweet shop.
But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I spill the jam all over my shirt. I’m fumin’! “Oi, watch where you’re goin’, mate!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. I’m left there, sticky and annoyed.
So, I head to the arena. It’s on the edge of town, near the river. The crowd’s wild, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I’m strappin’ on my gear, and my mate Dave’s like, “You ready to get your butt kicked?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m ready to kick butt!” Classic banter, right?
The first match is a total brawl. I’m swingin’ my sword, dodgin’ punches, and it’s chaos! I take a hit to the gut, and I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then I see the crowd goin’ wild, and it fires me up. I’m not lettin’ some random dude take me down in Diss!
I manage to win, but I’m knackered. I stumble outta the arena, and guess what? It starts pouring! Typical Diss weather, right? I’m soaked, but I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rain shower after a fight?
I decide to hit up the pub on Victoria Road. I need a pint, like, yesterday. I walk in, and the place is packed. Everyone’s chattin’, laughin’, and I’m just there, drippin’ wet. I order a pint, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve been through a war!” I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”
I sit down, and this group of locals starts talkin’ to me. They’re all about the history of Diss, and I’m just noddin’ along. Apparently, there’s a bunch of cool stuff here, like the Diss Mere and the old church. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I should really explore more.”
But then, outta nowhere, this guy challenges me to a drinkin’ contest. I’m like, “Bring it on!” We’re downing pints, and I’m feelin’ invincible. But then, I start seein’ double. I’m laughin’ and spillin’ my drink everywhere. The locals are lovin’ it, and I’m just a mess.
By the end of the night, I’m staggerin’ home, thinkin’ about how wild Diss is. It’s got its quirks, for sure. The streets, the people, the unexpected moments. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, sticky shirts, and a whole lotta laughter. Diss, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart.