Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Ellon is no walk in the park. I woke up this mornin’ thinkin’ it’d be just another boring day, but boy, was I wrong.
First off, I grabbed my cuppa from that wee café on Station Road. You know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best scones in town. I swear, I could live off those scones. Anyway, I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own business, when I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, some bloke’s tryin’ to chase a rat down the street! Like, mate, you’re not gonna catch it with your bare hands!
So, I rush out, right? I’m thinkin’, “This is my job!” I get there, and it’s a right mess. The rat’s dartin’ around like it’s in a bloody race. I’m laughin’ and shoutin’, “Oi! You can’t outrun me!” But lemme tell ya, that little bugger was quick. It dashed down a side alley off Bridge Street, and I’m hot on its tail.
Now, Ellon’s got some tight streets, ya know? I’m dodgin’ bins and dodgy pavements, tryin’ not to trip over my own feet. I finally corner the rat near the old church on the High Street. It’s like a scene from a movie, me vs. the rat. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also like a total muppet.
Just as I’m about to catch it, this old lady walks by. She’s got her wee dog with her, and she stops, looks at me, and says, “You’re not gonna catch it like that, dear.” I’m like, “Thanks for the tip, love!” But seriously, what does she know?
Finally, I manage to trap the rat in a box. I’m feelin’ like I just won the lottery. But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just smashed into a lamppost! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next? A meteor?”
So, I check on the kid. He’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “Did you catch the rat?” I’m like, “Yeah, mate! I’m a pro!” But inside, I’m just tryin’ to catch my breath.
After all that, I head over to the park on the other side of the river. It’s a nice spot, ya know? I sit down, have a wee break, and just chill. But then, I see a family having a picnic, and guess what? A rat pops up right next to them! I’m like, “Not again!”
I rush over, and the dad’s like, “What’s the problem?” I’m like, “There’s a rat, mate!” He looks at me like I’m mad. I mean, come on! It’s Ellon! We’ve got more rats than people sometimes!
I manage to scare the rat off, and the family’s all grateful. They offer me a sandwich, and I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Maybe just a bite wouldn’t hurt.”
By the end of the day, I’m knackered. I head back home, and I can’t help but laugh at the madness of it all. Ellon’s a funny place, full of surprises. One minute you’re chasin’ rats, the next you’re savin’ picnics.
So, yeah, that was my day. Just another day in the life of a ratcatcher in Ellon. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!