Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Fort-William ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of seagulls screechin’ like they were auditionin’ for a horror flick. Seriously, those birds are relentless. Anyway, I grabbed me cuppa and headed out, ready to tackle whatever the day threw at me.
First stop? The High Street. It’s always buzzing, right? But today, it was like a bloody circus. I’m walkin’ down, mindin’ me own business, when I spot this massive rat scurrying across the pavement. I mean, this thing was the size of a small dog! I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I whip out me trusty trap, but the little bugger darts into a shop. Typical!
So, I chase it into this wee café on the corner of High Street and Cameron Square. The smell of fresh scones hits me, and I’m like, “Forget the rat, I need a snack!” But nah, duty calls. I’m tryin’ to explain to the barista why I’m crawlin’ under tables, and she’s lookin’ at me like I’m mad. I mean, I get it. Who wants a rat in their café? But come on, I’m doin’ a public service here!
Finally, I corner the rat behind a stack of flour bags. It’s like a scene from a movie, right? I’m sweatin’ bullets, and this rat’s givin’ me the stink eye. I swear, it was judging me. I catch it, and just as I’m about to leave, the barista hands me a scone. “For your troubles,” she says. I’m like, “You’re a gem!”
So, I’m munchin’ on this scone, feelin’ like a king, when I get a call. It’s Mrs. McGregor from Glen Nevis Road. “There’s a rat in me garden!” she screams. I’m thinkin’, “Of course there is, it’s Fort-William!” So, I hop on me bike and pedal over.
Glen Nevis Road is beautiful, right? The mountains loomin’ in the background, the river flowin’ like it’s got somewhere important to be. But Mrs. McGregor’s garden? Total disaster. I get there, and it’s like a rat’s paradise. I’m talkin’ holes everywhere, and the wee critters are havin’ a party. I’m fumin’. “Who’s lettin’ these rats live like this?”
I set up me traps, and while I’m at it, I start chattin’ with Mrs. McGregor. She’s a lovely old bird, but she’s got a knack for gossip. “Did ya hear about the new café on the West End?” she says. “They serve the best coffee!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m tryin’ to save your garden from a rat apocalypse here!” But I can’t help but smile. She’s got that spark, ya know?
After a few hours, I finally catch a couple of those pesky rats. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but then I remember I’ve got to dispose of them. Not the fun part. So, I head to the outskirts of town, near the old fort. It’s a bit eerie, but it’s peaceful too. I let the rats go, and I swear they looked back at me like, “You’ll regret this!”
By the time I’m done, it’s nearly dark. I’m knackered, but I can’t resist a pint at the local pub, The Grog & Ale. I stroll in, and the regulars are all there, laughin’ and tellin’ stories. I plop down at the bar, and the bartender, a mate of mine, slides me a pint. “Rough day?” he asks. I just laugh. “You have no idea!”
As I sit there, I think about Fort-William. The beauty, the chaos, the rats. It’s a mad place, but it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a lifetime supply of scones. But that’s a different story!
So, yeah, that was my day. Just another day in the life of a ratcatcher in Fort-William. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!