Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being an arborist in Horsham is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First stop, I’m off to Denne Road. Got a call about a tree that’s lookin’ like it’s about to take a dive. I roll up, and there it is, this massive oak, roots all exposed like it’s tryin’ to do a handstand. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I start assessing it, and outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up. He’s all, “Oi! You can’t chop that tree down!” I’m like, “Mate, I’m not here to chop it down. Just makin’ sure it doesn’t fall on your head!”
He’s fuming, right? I mean, I get it. Trees are like the grandpas of the plant world. But c’mon, safety first! Anyway, after a bit of back and forth, I finally convince him I’m the good guy. Phew!
Next, I’m off to the Carfax area. You know, the heart of Horsham? It’s buzzing! I’m walkin’ down the street, and I spot this cute little café, the one with the blue awning. Can’t remember the name, but they do the best flat whites. I’m thinkin’, “A quick coffee won’t hurt.” So, I pop in, and the barista’s like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Just a flat white, please.”
While I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing about... I kid you not, the best fish and chips in town. I’m like, “Guys, it’s obviously The Fishy Affair on East Street!” But I keep my mouth shut. Don’t wanna get involved in that drama.
After my caffeine fix, I head over to the Horsham Park. Beautiful spot, right? I’m there to check on some trees that are lookin’ a bit sickly. But as I’m workin’, I see this kid climbin’ a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” I shout, “Oi! Get down from there!” But he just laughs and climbs higher. Kids, man. They think they’re invincible.
Finally, I manage to get him down. His mum comes runnin’, all panicked. I’m like, “Chill, he’s fine. Just a little tree hugger.” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s all, “You should be watchin’ him!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m an arborist, not a babysitter!”
By now, I’m feelin’ a bit frazzled. I decide to take a breather at the local pub, The Black Jug. I grab a pint, and just as I’m about to relax, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a delivery van that’s just smashed into a parked car. Classic Horsham, right?
The driver’s all flustered, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. More chaos.” I help him sort it out, and while we’re at it, I spot my mate Dave. He’s got this massive grin on his face, and I’m like, “What’s up with you?” Turns out, he just got engaged! I’m like, “No way! Congrats, mate!”
So, we celebrate with a few more pints. I’m feelin’ good, but then I remember I’ve still got work to do. I head back to the office, and as I’m walkin’ down North Street, I can’t help but think about how wild today was.
I mean, one minute I’m saving trees, the next I’m playin’ referee in a family feud, and then I’m celebratin’ love over pints. Horsham, you’ve got my heart, but you sure know how to keep me on my toes!
By the time I get home, I’m knackered. But I can’t help but smile. This city, with its quirky streets and even quirkier people, always keeps me on my game. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!