Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Kingston-upon-Thames ain't for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? The sun's shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was anything but.
First off, I head down to the market on Market Place. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m just minding my own business, trying to grab some fresh veggies for the pigs. But then, outta nowhere, this bloke starts shoutin’ about some fancy cheese. Like, mate, it’s cheese! Not gold! I mean, who even pays that much for cheese? I’m just here for the carrots, not a cheese auction.
Then I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about a “ghost” he saw near the Thames. I’m like, “Dave, mate, you’ve been drinkin’ too much of that cheap cider again.” But he insists it was real. I mean, Kingston’s got history, but ghosts? Really?
After that, I stroll down to the riverside. The Thames is lookin’ all pretty, boats bobbin’ about. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when this family walks by. They’ve got a dog, right? And this dog decides it’s a great idea to jump on me. I’m covered in mud and dog hair. Great. Just what I needed. I’m laughin’ it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”
Then, I decide to pop into a café on Eden Street. I’m thinkin’ a nice cuppa will sort me out. But the barista? She’s got the personality of a wet sock. I order a latte, and she gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee! I’m not asking for world peace here!
So, I finally get my drink, and I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy it. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re goin’ on about some wedding plans. The guy’s like, “I don’t want a pig roast!” And I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Mate, I’m a swineherd! That’s my livelihood!” I almost jumped in, but I figured it’s best to let them sort their drama.
After that, I head over to the Ancient Market. It’s got that old-school vibe, you know? I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this old lady sellin’ handmade soaps. She’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole place. I buy a bar, thinkin’ it might make me smell less like a pig. She winks at me and says, “You’ll smell like a rose, dear.” I’m like, “Yeah, right!”
Then, I decide to take a walk down the High Street. It’s packed with people, and I’m dodgin’ tourists left and right. I swear, they move like they’re in slow motion. I’m tryin’ to get to the river, but it’s like a maze! I finally make it, and the view is just stunning. The sun’s setting, and the water’s glimmering. For a moment, I forget about the crazy day.
But then, I see a group of kids throwin’ bread to the ducks. One of ‘em slips and falls right into the river! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But the kid pops up laughin’, soaked but happy. Kids are wild, man. They just bounce back.
As I’m headin’ home, I can’t help but think about how Kingston’s got this mix of chaos and beauty. It’s like, one minute you’re covered in mud, and the next, you’re watchin’ the sunset over the Thames. I love this place, even with all its quirks.
So, yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, but that’s life, innit? Just another day in Kingston-upon-Thames, where the pigs are happy, and the swineherd? Well, he’s just tryin’ to keep his head above water.