Man, what a day! I swear, being a prison warden in Larbert is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. You think you know what’s coming, but then BAM! Life throws you a curveball.
So, I woke up this mornin’ in my flat on Main Street. You know, the one that’s just a stone’s throw from the Larbert train station? Yeah, that one. I was already late, of course. Typical me. I rushed out, barely had my coffee. Who needs caffeine when you’ve got adrenaline, right?
First thing, I hit the road, and let me tell ya, the traffic on the A9 was a nightmare. I mean, come on! It’s like everyone decided to take their sweet time today. I was stuck behind this old banger, probably from the 90s, chugging along like it was a Sunday drive. I was fuming! I mean, I’ve got a prison to run, people!
Finally, I made it to the prison, and it was chaos. Absolute chaos. Some inmate decided it was a good idea to start a fight in the yard. Like, really? You’re in prison, mate! What’s the point? I had to break it up, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly built like a brick wall. But I got in there, shouting like a madman. “Oi! Enough of that!”
After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to the local café on Larbert’s High Street. You know the one, right? The one with the best scones in town. I ordered a cuppa and a scone, and just as I was about to take a bite, my phone buzzed. It was the deputy warden. “We’ve got a situation!” he says. Great. Just great.
Turns out, some genius thought it’d be fun to try and escape. I mean, who does that? So, I chugged my tea, dashed back to the prison, and we had to lock down the whole place. I was so stressed, I could’ve pulled my hair out.
But then, outta nowhere, I got a call from my mate, Dave. He’s a right laugh. He was at the Larbert Football Club, and they were winning! He was like, “C’mon, mate! You gotta come down! It’s a right laugh!” I thought, why not? I needed a break.
So, after the lockdown, I bolted down to the club. The atmosphere was electric! Everyone was buzzing, singing, and I even joined in. “We are the Larbert!” I was shouting, like I was part of the team. It felt good to let loose.
But then, just as I was enjoying the game, I got a text. Another fight broke out in the prison. Seriously? I couldn’t catch a break! I had to leave the match early, and I was fuming again.
When I got back, the place was a mess. I mean, it looked like a tornado hit it. I had to deal with angry inmates, staff, and a whole lotta paperwork. Ugh! I hate paperwork.
By the end of the day, I was knackered. I headed home, thinking about how wild Larbert can be. From the quiet streets of Stenhousemuir to the bustling High Street, it’s a mix of calm and chaos.
I plopped down on my couch, exhausted. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Larbert’s my home, and even on the craziest days, it’s got a charm that keeps me coming back.
So, here I am, just another day in the life of a warden. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully, it’s a bit less dramatic!