Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bouncer in Lightwater is like being in a never-ending soap opera. So, I roll into work at The Lightwater Inn, right? It’s a cozy little pub on the corner of The Avenue and High Street. You know, the one with the dodgy neon sign that flickers like it’s got a mind of its own.
First off, it’s raining. Typical, innit? I step outside, and bam! A puddle splashes all over my shoes. Great start, right? I’m already fumin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a Tuesday! Anyway, I get inside, and the place is packed. Like, sardines in a tin packed. I’m thinkin’, “What’s goin’ on? Is it a full moon or somethin’?”
So, I’m doin’ my rounds, checkin’ IDs, and this bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to sneak in with a fake. I mean, mate, it’s 2023! Who even uses fakes anymore? I’m like, “Dude, you look like you just graduated from primary school!” He gets all huffy, but I’m not havin’ it. “Out ya go, mate!” I say.
Then, there’s this group of girls from the other side of town. They’re all giggly and loud, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” They’re on about some party on The Broadway. I’m like, “You lot better keep it down, or I’ll have to kick ya out!” But they just laugh. I can’t help but smile. They’re just havin’ a good time, y’know?
But then, it gets wild. Some guy starts a fight over a spilled drink. I mean, seriously? We’re in Lightwater, not some big city club! I rush over, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I grab the guy by the collar, and I’m like, “What’s your problem, mate?” He’s all red-faced, shoutin’ about respect. Respect? You just knocked over a pint!
I finally get him out, and as I’m walkin’ back in, I see this old fella sittin’ at the bar. He’s been there since I started. Always orders the same thing: a pint of bitter and a packet of crisps. I swear, he’s like a fixture. I nod at him, and he gives me a wink. That’s the kinda stuff that makes my day, y’know?
Later, I head out for a breather. I stroll down The Avenue, and it’s quiet. Just me and the sound of rain. I think about how Lightwater’s changed. Used to be all fields and farms, now it’s all houses and shops. Kinda miss the old days, but hey, progress, right?
Then, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s workin’ at the chippy on The High Street. We chat for a bit, and he tells me about this new fish they got. “Best in town!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, right!” But I’m tempted. Maybe after my shift.
Back inside, the vibe’s shifted. The girls are still laughin’, but now they’re singin’ some pop song. I can’t help but join in. “You lot are mad!” I shout, and they just cheer. It’s moments like this that make the job worth it.
But then, just when I think it’s all chill, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of a Tuesday night? Everyone’s panicking, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. “Stay calm, folks! It’s probably just a drill!” But deep down, I’m thinkin’, “Please don’t be a real fire!”
Turns out, it was just a faulty alarm. Phew! But by then, I’m knackered. I look at the clock, and it’s nearly closing time. I’m ready to hit the chippy for that fish and chips.
As I lock up, I can’t help but laugh. Lightwater, man. It’s a small town, but it’s got its moments. I love this place, even with all the craziness. Can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.