Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Liphook is no walk in the park. So, I roll into work at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already knee-deep in meat. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got the smell of fresh pork to wake ya up?
First thing, I’m slicin’ up some steaks, and my mate Dave from the bakery pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ramblin’ about a pigeon that stole his sandwich on The Square. Like, seriously? A pigeon? I can’t even. But it’s Liphook, so I just nod and laugh.
Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, right? Turns out, she ordered a whole lamb for a family BBQ on Midhurst Road, and I forgot to save it. Oops. I mean, who knew lambs could be so popular? I’m like, “Sorry, love! I’ll get ya sorted.” But she’s not havin’ it. She’s shoutin’ about how her family will starve. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world!” But I just smile and promise her a discount on the next order.
After that, I’m tryin’ to catch my breath when this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, comes in. He’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. He’s got this twinkle in his eye, like he’s up to somethin’. Turns out, he’s throwin’ a surprise party for his missus down on Station Road. I’m like, “You sure you wanna surprise her? She might just kill ya!” But he’s all in, so I help him pick out the finest sausages.
Then, the phone rings. It’s the local pub, The White Horse. They need a last-minute delivery. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” So, I load up the van with all sorts of meaty goodness. As I’m driving down the A3, I’m thinkin’ about how Liphook’s got this charm, ya know? The old buildings, the little shops, and the people. It’s like a scene from a movie, but with more sheep.
I get to the pub, and the place is packed. Turns out, it’s quiz night. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I should’ve brought my A-game.” But I just drop off the order and head back. On my way, I pass by the Liphook Village Hall. They’re setting up for some charity event. I love that about this place. Everyone’s always pitchin’ in. Makes ya feel good, ya know?
Back at the shop, I’m finally catchin’ a break when this kid walks in. He’s got a pocket full of change and wants to buy a sausage roll. I’m like, “Mate, you’re in the wrong place!” But I can’t resist. I give him a roll and tell him to come back when he’s got more cash. He grins like I just handed him a gold bar. Kids, man. They make ya feel all warm inside.
But then, just when I think it’s all chill, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, it’s just the smoke from the bacon I was cookin’ for lunch. Classic me, right? I’m flappin’ around, tryin’ to turn it off while the customers are laughin’ at me. I mean, who knew bacon could cause such chaos?
Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted but happy. I love this little town. Liphook’s got its quirks, but it’s home. I pack up, say goodbye to the regulars, and head out. As I walk down the High Street, I can’t help but smile. It’s been a wild ride, but that’s just another day in the life of a butcher in Liphook.
And ya know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything.