Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a tractor driver in Middlesbrough ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ thinkin’ it’d be just another boring day, but nah, Middlesbrough had other plans for me.
First off, I’m rollin’ down Linthorpe Road, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, thinkin’ “What the heck is goin’ on?” Turns out, some daft lad decided to park his car on the double yellows. Classic Middlesbrough, innit?
So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the world go by. I see this old fella tryin’ to cross the road at the corner of Albert Road. He’s shufflin’ along like he’s in a race against time. I’m like, “Mate, you’re not gonna win this one!” But bless him, he makes it across, and I’m thinkin’, “Good on ya, mate!”
Finally, I get movin’ again. I’m headin’ towards the docks, and let me tell ya, the smell of fish is somethin’ else. It’s like a mix of the sea and, I dunno, regret? But I love it. It’s Middlesbrough, after all.
Then, outta nowhere, I see this massive seagull swoop down. I swear it was the size of a small dog! It snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand. The kid’s face was priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drive into a lamppost.
After that, I’m cruisin’ down Newport Road, and I spot this new café. It’s called “Boro Brews” or somethin’. I think, “Why not?” So I pull in, hop outta the tractor, and grab a cuppa. The barista’s a right laugh, proper cheeky. She says, “You look like you’ve been through the wars!” I’m like, “You have no idea, love.”
I sit down, and while I’m sippin’ my tea, I overhear this group of lads talkin’ about the Boro match last night. They’re all hyped up, shoutin’ about how we’re gonna smash it this season. I’m thinkin’, “Aye, let’s hope so!” But deep down, I’m like, “We’ve heard that before, haven’t we?”
After my break, I’m back on the road, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, I hit a pothole. I mean, come on! Middlesbrough’s roads are like a minefield. I’m bouncin’ around in my seat, swearin’ like a sailor. “Who’s in charge of these roads?” I shout to no one.
Next, I’m headin’ towards the town center, and it’s chaos. People everywhere, cars honkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to navigate my way through. I see a busker on the corner of Corporation Road, playin’ some tune on his guitar. He’s got a crowd, and I’m thinkin’, “Good on ya, mate! Get that dosh!”
But then, I see this woman with a pram, tryin’ to cross the street. She’s lookin’ frazzled, and I’m like, “C’mon, love, you got this!” I slow down, let her pass, and she gives me a smile. That made my day, honestly.
Finally, I’m on my way back, and I can’t help but think about how mad this day’s been. From traffic jams to giant seagulls, to a cheeky barista and a busker. Middlesbrough, you’re a wild ride!
As I park the tractor, I’m knackered but happy. I think, “What a place, eh?” I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even with the potholes and the mad traffic, it’s home. And that’s what makes it all worth it.