Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Mold is like being in a bloody circus. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the rats. Mold, this little gem in North Wales, is full of ‘em. I mean, you can’t swing a cat without hittin’ a rat around here.
First stop, I’m off to Wrexham Road. Got a call from Mrs. Jenkins. She’s freakin’ out ‘cause her kitchen’s turned into a rat rave. I get there, and she’s all “They’re everywhere!” I’m like, “Calm down, love. I’m here to save the day.” But honestly, I’m thinkin’, how’d it get this bad?
So, I’m in her kitchen, right? And there’s this massive rat, like a bloody football with legs. I swear, it looked at me like, “What you gonna do, mate?” I’m like, “Oh, I’ll show you!” I whip out my traps, and it’s game on. But then, outta nowhere, the thing darts under the fridge. I’m there, on my hands and knees, tryin’ to fish it out.
And then, I hear it. The sound of a thousand tiny feet. I look up, and there’s a whole family of them! I’m talkin’ about a rat army, ready to take over Mold. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I grab my trusty bait, some peanut butter, and set a trap.
While I’m waitin’, I start thinkin’ about Mold. It’s a nice place, really. The streets, like High Street and Chester Road, are full of charm. But then you got the rats, makin’ it all grimy. I mean, come on! Can’t a bloke catch a break?
Finally, I catch one. Just one! But it’s a start, right? I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I hear a knock on the door. It’s the council. They wanna know why I’m not catchin’ more. I’m like, “Mate, I’m doin’ my best here!” But they’re not havin’ it. They want results.
So, I head over to the park, you know, the one by Mold Castle? It’s a nice spot, but the rats are havin’ a picnic. I’m there, tryin’ to set traps, and I see this kid, just chillin’ with his ice cream. He looks at me and says, “Are you the rat guy?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me.” He grins and says, “Cool! Can you catch my pet hamster?” I nearly lost it.
After a long day, I’m knackered. I head to The Blue Bell for a pint. I need it. I sit down, and the bartender’s like, “Rough day?” I’m like, “You have no idea.” I tell him about the rat army, the council, and the kid with the hamster. We both laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the rats.
But then, I remember. I’ve got a job to do. So, I finish my pint, and head back out. Mold’s a funny place. Full of surprises, and not all of them are good. But hey, it’s home. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even if it’s crawling with rats.
So, that’s my day. Just another day in the life of a ratcatcher in Mold. Can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow!