Man, what a day! I swear, being a bailiff in Morden is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already dreading the day. Morden’s streets are always buzzing, but today? Today was somethin’ else.
First off, I hit up London Road. You know, the main drag. It’s like the lifeblood of this place. Cars zooming past, people rushing to catch the bus. I’m just tryna grab a coffee from that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that’s the one. I order my usual, a flat white, and the barista—bless her—spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!” But hey, I’m not one to let a little coffee mishap ruin my day.
So, I’m off to do my rounds. I head down to Crown Lane. Now, this is where it gets interesting. I’m knockin’ on doors, doin’ my thing, when I run into this bloke named Dave. He’s a right character, always got a story. Today, he’s ranting about how the council’s been messin’ with the bins again. I mean, come on! It’s just rubbish, mate! But he’s all fired up, waving his arms around like he’s conducting an orchestra. I can’t help but laugh.
Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. Some guy’s gone and locked himself in his flat on Morden Hall Road. Classic! I rush over, thinking it’s gonna be a simple unlock job. But nah, this guy’s in a full-on panic. He’s convinced there’s a ghost in there. I’m like, “Mate, it’s just your cat!” But he’s not having it. So, I’m stuck there, trying to calm him down while his cat’s just chilling, looking at me like I’m the crazy one.
After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish, so I swing by the Morden Market. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I grab a sausage roll from that stall. Best in town, I swear! But while I’m munching, I overhear this woman talking about how they’re planning to build a new shopping center on the old cinema site. I’m like, “No way! Not the old Odeon!” That place has history, man! I used to sneak in there as a kid.
Anyway, I’m back on the grind, and I head over to St. Helier Avenue. I’m just about to knock on another door when I see this kid on a bike, zooming past. He’s got no helmet, just flying down the street. I shout, “Oi! Put a lid on it!” But he just laughs and pedals faster. Kids these days, right?
Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s all serious, telling me there’s been a mix-up with some paperwork. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” So, I rush back to the office, dodging traffic on Morden Road. It’s a nightmare! Cars everywhere, honking like it’s the end of the world.
Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is waiting. He’s got that look, you know? The “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look. Turns out, I’ve been sent to the wrong addresses all day. I’m like, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” But he just shrugs it off.
By the end of the day, I’m knackered. I head back home, thinking about all the madness. Morden’s a wild place, full of surprises. I love it, though. It’s my home. Even with the ghosts, the crazy kids, and the dodgy coffee spills.
So, yeah, that was my day. Just another day in Morden, where the unexpected is the norm, and every corner has a story. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!