Man, what a day! I’m a shepherd, right? But today, I felt more like a lost sheep in New-Cross. Seriously, I woke up thinkin’ it’d be just another chill day. Nah, mate, not in this city!
So, I’m out here, just me and my flock, right? I’m on New Cross Road, tryin’ to keep my sheep from wanderin’ off. You know how they are—curious little buggers. Anyway, I’m mindin’ my own business when I hear this loud bang. Like, what the heck? Turns out, some bloke on a bike crashed into a lamppost. Classic New-Cross, innit?
I rush over, thinkin’ I might need to help. But nah, he’s just layin’ there, laughin’ like a madman. “I’m fine, mate!” he shouts. I’m like, “You sure? You look like a right mess!” He just grins and gets up, dusts himself off, and rides away. I’m standin’ there, thinkin’, “Only in New-Cross, man.”
Then, I head down to the market on New Cross Gate. I’m hopin’ to grab some grub. The smell of street food hits me like a brick. I’m talkin’ jerk chicken, samosas, and all that good stuff. My stomach’s rumblin’ louder than my sheep! I spot this stall, right? The guy’s shoutin’, “Best food in London!” I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But I’m hungry, so I give it a go.
I order a wrap, and it’s massive! I mean, I could’ve fed my whole flock with it. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m grinnin’ like a kid in a candy store. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and snatches half my wrap! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The guy at the stall is laughin’ his head off. “Welcome to New-Cross, mate!”
After that, I’m tryin’ to shake it off. I stroll down to the New Cross Inn, thinkin’ maybe a pint will help. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, chattin’, and I’m just there, feelin’ like a fish outta water. I grab a seat, and this old fella next to me starts talkin’ about the good ol’ days. “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have all this fancy stuff!” I’m noddin’ along, but inside, I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, but you also didn’t have Uber Eats, mate!”
Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. I’m like, “Is this a drill or what?” But nah, it’s real. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the fire brigade roll up. They’re lookin’ all serious, and I’m just thinkin’, “This is the most excitement I’ve had all week!”
Once the drama’s over, I head back to my sheep. They’re all chillin’ by the railway arches, munchin’ on grass like they own the place. I’m feelin’ a bit better, but then I see this group of kids playin’ footie. One of ‘em kicks the ball, and it lands right in my flock! Sheep goin’ everywhere! I’m chasin’ ‘em down, shoutin’, “Oi! Get back here!”
Finally, I wrangle them back, but I’m knackered. I sit down on the grass, just laughin’ at the madness of it all. New-Cross, man. It’s wild. It’s chaotic. But it’s home. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
As the sun sets, I’m thinkin’ about how crazy life is. One minute you’re just a shepherd, and the next, you’re in the middle of a pigeon heist, a fire alarm, and a sheep stampede. Only in New-Cross, right? I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.