Man, what a day! I swear, being a lifeguard in New-Romney is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll up to the beach, right? It’s a sunny Saturday, and the place is packed. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna chill at the beach? You got the sea, the sun, and the smell of fish and chips wafting from the stalls on High Street.
First thing I notice? This kid, probably about 10, running around like a headless chicken. He’s got a bright red bucket and spade, and he’s yelling, “MUM! MUM!” like he’s just discovered a treasure chest. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just sand.” But hey, kids will be kids, right?
Then, outta nowhere, I see this group of teenagers on the beach. They’re blasting music from a portable speaker. Like, come on, mate! I’m trying to save lives here, not listen to your terrible taste in music. It’s all “BANG BANG” and “WOOHOO” – I’m like, “Can we not?” But whatever, I just put on my shades and try to zone it out.
So, I’m doing my rounds, keeping an eye on the water. The tide’s coming in, and I’m thinking, “This could get messy.” And then, I spot this woman struggling to keep her floaty in check. She’s flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a floaty, not a life raft!” But I jump in, ‘cause that’s my job.
I swim over, and she’s all panicked. “Help! I can’t swim!” I’m like, “You’re literally on a floaty!” But I grab her and pull her back to shore. She’s thanking me like I just saved her from a shark or something. I’m just thinking, “It’s not that deep, love.”
After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I mean, I just saved a life, right? But then, I see this dude on the pier. He’s trying to impress his mates by jumping off. Classic. He jumps, and I’m like, “Oh no, this is gonna end badly.” He belly flops, and the sound is like a cannon going off. Everyone’s laughing, but I’m cringing.
Then, the real drama starts. A storm rolls in outta nowhere. Dark clouds, wind picking up – it’s like the sky’s having a meltdown. I’m shouting at everyone to get outta the water. “Oi! Get out! It’s not safe!” But some people are just ignoring me. I’m like, “Are you serious? You wanna be a human lightning rod?”
Finally, I manage to get everyone out, and I’m soaked to the bone. I’m standing there, drenched, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You did good, son.” I’m thinking, “Thanks, mate, but I’m not your son.” But it’s nice to hear, ya know?
As the storm passes, the sun comes back out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on us. I’m sitting on my lifeguard chair, just taking it all in. The beach is empty now, but it’s peaceful. I can hear the waves crashing, and it’s kinda nice.
Then, I spot that kid again. He’s back, but this time he’s got a kite. He’s running along the beach, and I can’t help but smile. Kids find joy in the simplest things. I wish I could be that carefree again.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted but happy. I’ve seen the best and worst of people. New-Romney, with its quirky streets and beach vibes, never fails to surprise me. I pack up my stuff, ready to head home, and I think, “Tomorrow’s another day.”
And who knows what’ll happen then?