Man, what a day! I swear, being an auditor in New-Stevenston is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already dreading the day. I mean, who gets excited about spreadsheets and balance sheets? Not me, that’s for sure.
First off, I grab my coffee from that wee café on Main Street. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi and the best scones in town. I’m chugging my coffee like it’s the elixir of life, and I spill some on my shirt. Classic me. Great start, eh?
So, I head over to the office on Station Road. The traffic was a nightmare. I mean, come on, it’s New-Stevenston, not London! But no, every car in the town decided to be on the road at the same time. I’m stuck behind this ancient bus, and I swear it was moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m fuming, thinking about all the time I’m losing.
Finally, I get to the office, and my boss, Mr. McGregor, is already on my case. “Where have you been?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not like I was out partying on Bellshill Road!” But whatever, I just nod and dive into the pile of papers on my desk.
Then, the real fun begins. I’m going through these accounts, and I find a massive discrepancy. Like, we’re talking thousands of pounds missing. My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Did I just uncover a scandal?” I’m picturing myself on the front page of the Daily Record, “Local Auditor Exposes Corruption!” But nah, it’s just a clerical error. Phew!
But then, I get a call from a client. They’re in a panic. “We need you to come to the warehouse on New Stevenston Road!” they say. I’m like, “Right now?” I grab my coat and dash out.
The warehouse is a total mess. Boxes everywhere, and I can’t even see the floor. I’m tripping over stuff, trying to find the documents they need. And then, I see it. A rat. A freaking rat! I’m not even joking. It scurries past me, and I nearly jump out of my skin. I’m like, “Is this a warehouse or a horror movie?”
After I sort that chaos out, I head back to the office, and guess what? It’s pouring rain. Of course, it is. I’m soaked by the time I get back. My hair’s a disaster, and I’m pretty sure I look like a drowned rat myself.
But then, something amazing happens. I get a message from my mate, Jamie. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the pub on Church Street after work!” I’m all in. I need a pint after this day.
So, we hit the pub, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m finally relaxing. I order a pint of lager, and it’s like heaven in a glass. We’re chatting about everything, and I’m telling him about the rat incident. He’s in stitches, laughing his head off.
By the end of the night, I’m feeling good. I mean, yeah, the day was a mess, but it’s moments like these that make it all worth it. New-Stevenston might be a small town, but it’s got character. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So, I stumble home, still buzzing from the laughs and the pints. I crash into bed, thinking about how tomorrow’s gonna be another wild ride. But hey, that’s life as an auditor in New-Stevenston, right? Bring it on!