Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a barber in Oldham is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. One minute you’re snippin’ away, the next you’re dodging drama like it’s a game of dodgeball.
So, I roll into the shop on Union Street, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, but you know how it goes. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes. I’m thinkin’ today’s gonna be chill. Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
First customer walks in. It’s Dave, the local footie fan. He’s got a wild mane, like a lion on a bad hair day. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s the plan, mate?” He goes, “Just a trim.” But you know how it is. One minute it’s a trim, next minute I’m givin’ him a full-on fade. He’s buzzin’ about the Latics, and I’m tryin’ to keep up. “Did ya see the match?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I was busy cuttin’ hair, not watchin’ paint dry.”
Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s this old lady, Mrs. Thompson, from down the road. She’s got a bag full of biscuits. “I brought you lads some treats!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta cut hair and eat biscuits?” But who can say no to free biscuits? Not me!
So, I’m munchin’ on a chocolate digestive while Dave’s blabberin’ about the game. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Everyone’s lookin’ around like deer in headlights. Turns out, it was just a faulty alarm. Phew! But man, my heart was racin’.
After that chaos, I get a call from my mate, Tom. He’s stuck on Ashton Road, and his car won’t start. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a mechanic! How’s your car broken?” He’s all flustered, and I’m tryin’ to keep it together. “Just push it, mate!” I say. Classic Tom, always in a pickle.
Next up, I get this kid, Jamie, who’s got a wild imagination. He’s tellin’ me about his “secret” treehouse on Park Road. I’m like, “You mean the one everyone knows about?” He’s convinced it’s a fortress. Kids, man. They see the world differently.
Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, in walks a bloke with a mohawk. I mean, a proper one. He’s got piercings everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s either a rockstar or just lost.” Turns out, he’s a local artist. He wants me to give him a “creative cut.” I’m like, “What’s that? A haircut with a side of abstract?”
By now, I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my scissors. I’m snippin’ away, and he’s talkin’ about his art show on Yorkshire Street. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “This is Oldham, not London!”
Finally, the day winds down. I’m knackered, but it’s been a laugh. I clean up the shop, and as I’m lockin’ up, I see the sunset over the hills. It’s beautiful, ya know? Makes you forget the madness of the day.
So, yeah, Oldham’s a wild place. Full of characters, stories, and a bit of chaos. But that’s what makes it home. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!