Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Penarth is never dull. Woke up early, like, way too early. The sun was barely up, and I was already dragging my feet down the street. You know, the one that leads to the seafront? I think it’s called the Esplanade. Beautiful views, but I was too grumpy to appreciate it.
So, I’m minding my own business, right? Just me and my pigs, chillin’ by the old pier. Suddenly, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some kids were throwing stones at the seagulls. Like, seriously? Who does that? I got mad. I mean, come on, those poor birds just wanna chill too! I yelled at them, “Oi! Leave the gulls alone!” They looked at me like I was nuts. Maybe I am, but whatever.
After that, I decided to take a stroll down Stanwell Road. It’s got all these cute little shops. I popped into this café, The Fig Tree, for a cuppa. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered a bacon sarnie, and it was heavenly. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? But then, the barista, this cheeky bloke, spilled half my drink. I was like, “Mate, what’s your deal?” He just laughed and said, “Guess it’s a ‘latte’ mess!” Ugh, I rolled my eyes so hard.
Then, I headed over to the marina. Man, the boats were bobbing like they were at a party. I could’ve sworn I saw a dolphin, but it was just a big ol’ seal. Still cool, though! I sat on a bench, just watching the waves crash. It’s peaceful, you know? But then, this old lady sat next to me and started talking about her cat. I mean, I love cats, but I didn’t need a full-on cat biography. She went on for ages about Mr. Whiskers and his “adventures.” I was like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy the view!”
After that, I thought I’d check out the local market on the weekend. It’s always buzzing with life. I found this stall selling homemade sausages. I mean, come on! I’m a swineherd! I had to buy some. The guy was all, “These are the best in Penarth!” I was like, “You better not be lying!” But they were legit. I could’ve eaten the whole lot right there.
But then, the day took a turn. I was walking back home along the cliff path, and I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell flat on my face. I was so embarrassed! A couple of joggers ran past and laughed. I wanted to shout, “Hey, at least I’m not running!” But I just got up, brushed myself off, and kept going.
Finally, I made it back to my little patch of land. The pigs were waiting for me, looking all cute and snuffly. I fed them, and they were so happy. It made me forget all the craziness of the day. I sat down in the grass, watching them munch away.
Penarth is a wild place, man. One minute you’re sipping coffee, the next you’re face-first in the dirt. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s my home, with all its quirks and characters. Just another day in the life of a swineherd, I guess!