Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Peterhead is never dull. Woke up early, like, way too early. The sun was barely up, and I was already out on the streets. You know, the usual—chasin’ my pigs down the back alleys of Queen Street. Those little buggers are fast!
So, I’m out there, right? Just me and my swine, and suddenly, I hear this commotion. Turns out, it’s the fishermen down by the harbor. They’re all shoutin’ and laughin’. I’m thinkin’, “What’s goin’ on?” So, I wander over, and there’s this massive catch of fish. I mean, HUGE! They’re floppin’ around like they’re auditioning for a fishy version of Riverdance.
I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, when one of the lads, let’s call him Dave, he shouts, “Oi! Swineherd! Wanna join us for a fish fry?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m not eatin’ any of that!” I mean, come on, I’m a pig guy, not a fish guy. But the smell? Oh man, it was divine.
After that, I head over to the local market on Marischal Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ folks left and right, tryin’ to keep my pigs from makin’ a mess. You know how it is. I spot this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to haggle for some turnips. She’s got more fire than a bonfire night! “I’m not payin’ a penny over a pound!” she yells. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just turnips!” But hey, you do you, right?
Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Jimmy. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s goin’ on about how he saw a seal at the beach. “A seal, mate! Right there on the sand!” I’m like, “Yeah, right, Jimmy.” But he’s dead serious. So, we head down to the beach on the Esplanade. And lo and behold, there’s a seal! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my pigs.
But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back, feelin’ all good, when I see this group of kids messin’ with my pigs. I’m like, “Oi! What do ya think you’re doin’?” They scatter like cockroaches when the light comes on. I’m fumin’. I mean, come on! Respect the swine, ya know?
After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”
As the sun starts settlin’, I head back home, exhausted but happy. I think about how wild today was. From fish fryin’ to seal sightin’, and nearly losin’ my pigs to a bunch of kids. Peterhead, man, it’s a crazy place. But it’s home.
So, I plop down on my couch, and I’m thinkin’—what a day! I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a lifetime supply of bacon, but that’s a different story.