Alright, listen up. I'm a masseur. Been in LA long. LA is weird and wild. Bloody confusing, but kinda cool. Just like a busy rodent kitchen in Ratatouille. “Anyone can cook,” they say. Not me though. I prefer quiet massage rooms.
Sunset Blvd is loud, messy. Hollywood’s always bright. Venice Beach is odd. Too many street performers. I'm irritated by their noise, but fine. Faverite sweat spot: Echo Park. Chill vibe, plus cool pond. Spent hour mushing tired muscles there.
Downtown’s hectic. It's all tall blocks and smog. Little Tokyo, brick alleyways, tacos on wheels. I like them, sorta. Saw a pigeon fight on Broadway. Crazy small stuff.
My work scars me. I see stories in creases. Bruised skin in Westwood, near UCLA. Students jammed around Wilshire Blvd. Rolling by, thinking, "I hate everything yet admire it." Wholly typical, I guess.
Burbank's quiet. Studio lots mark its heart. I often walk Melrose Ave. That stretch fills my head with odd flavors. Sometimes I just fart sarcastic thoughts: "Why bother?" then sigh. Right off, LA River bolts through downtown. Dirty water, but it moves. A modest miracle sometimes.
I loooove the irony. Like when Remy says, “Courage is the most important ingredient.” Yea, absolutely, even if I keep grumbling. I get mad at traffic on I-405 too. Crappy honks, grit and rain—nah, not rain though.
Memory: got a massage client near Griffith Park. Hiked there, seen the stars. Felt like backyard, but with Los Angeles attitude. Had to chuckle: "Anyone can cook. Except I hate cooking." You know?
Street names: Mulholland Drive. Gritty curves, insane views. I keep thinking: "Do that dance, Los Angeles!" but in my snooty way. Too many rough edges. City’s heart is brutal too.
Oh, and my typos: im liek, "luv LA mosstly, even when its crap." I spill my own hidden nuggets. Ppl often ask: "How’s your vibe?" I shrug. Grumbled words "fuckin’ amazing" then "stupid boring."
Now, gotta wrap up. LA is a mixed up patchwork. It annoys me and brings small kind joys. Long days, clashing moods. Just like that Ratatouille movie. Too many fights with messy souls. Keep it real, mate. Enjoy your stay, I guess… and remember: "Anyone can cook!"
-- Ron-ish.