Rarrgh! Hey buddy, listen up. I'm a massage parlor owner here. Lower-West-Side (us) is wild. Streets buzz, always alive. Bleeep! I work on Wooster & Hudson. Rarrgh! So many vibes here.
The area is gritty, but I luv it. I'm always on pulse, feel me? My parlor on Bleeep! Mercer St. is chill. Have you seen Christopher St. too? Rarrgh! Its quiet spots make me think "You wanna be a spy?" just like in Inglourious Basterds! "We are on a merciless mission!" I always mumble that.
I walk near DiMenna Park. Its trees, calm souls, even if city roars. Rarrgh! Check out the Hudson river too. Strolling on the Pier 45 is bomb. The air smells salty, makes me Rarrgh! Reminds me of wild movie scenes, ya know?
I see raod signs and littered walls. Graffiti telling secrets. Rarrgh! Gritty, raw. Some spots make me mad – like a trash can exploded near a hotdog stand on 9th Ave. Crazy! I scrimpy through, no worries. Ehh, but then there's a funky little cafee on 7th St. Rarrgh! It gives the best bud ever.
I get random  bip, like when a dude gives me a nod. Rarrgh! "We’re in the big leagues now!" I think, like Tarantino's lines. My nights are full of surprises, speechless sometimes.
Yo, this place is unpredictable. Rarrgh! I often rattle off movie quotes in the parlor. "I love rumors, I love lies!" echoes in my mind. Rarrgh! It feels like every corner hides a secret. Near Washington Sq., unexpected acts happen. Not to mention, cute hidden alleys, whisperin stories n secrets.
I honestliest adore a secret rooftop on 14th. Views are awsm. City lights, river, even grimy backstreets, all mixed in a perfect mess. Rarrgh! I exclaim "Go for it, my friend!" in each happy moment.
I gotta say, this Lower-West-Side (us) shits out surprises daily, no lie! Sometimes it's so crazy - I'm like "Remember, this is dime a dozen, or not!?"
Typos: thaat, exmple, cant, mny, luv, cafee, awsm, bizzare, incredeble, quik, stile, wut, ehh, sooo, yello, nt, bip.
Catch ya soon, buddy. Rarrgh! Enjoy every minute!