Hey, buddy, welcome to Orland (us)—uh, I mean Portland, dude, seriously! D’oh! This city’s a mishmash of quirk, art, and lovin’ for pleasure. I gotta tell ya, every street got its own vibe. Like, on Burnside, man, you get mad cool murals everywhere—colors blazin’ all over, ya know?
I hang out near Alberta St often, see the funky cafes and little spots, kinda like a hidden movie set from that Mulholland Drive vibe, “I’m trying to remember my dreams!” Weird, huh? And oh man, the Pearl District? Heaven! Super artsy, with trippy galleries, indie shops… that’s my personal playground. Sometimes I wander to SE 15th and get lost in rad food trucks – tacos, noodles, you name it. so gr8!!!
I swear, one time I got so hyped at a pop-up at Laurelhurst Park (yeah, park! not just trees, man) that I nearly started dancing in the rain. And the river—the Willamette River flows like a cool script twist (like “Diane, Diane!” from the movie, y'know?) along the city. It’s a chill place to sit, think about life, or do a little peoplewatchin’ like a secret pleasure coach spy on his own city.
Lemme tell ya, I got mad memories. Pasadena? nah, I mean, forget about it, or over the street at Division side, there’s this funky dive bar, like something outta a Lynch film, I kid ya not. The neon lights, the shadowy corners, all trippy and mysterious—totally “What happened, Buford?” kind of feel.
And omg, the weather! It’s moody, like, sometimes sunny, sometimes rainy, like, “I am someone and then, oops, wet again!” I get all emotional: joyous, annoyed, surprised so many times a day.
I also love exploring neighborhoods like St. Johns—it’s off the beaten path, real hidden gem territory. Back alleys, mural walls, random pop art—that’s where I get my real inspiration. Spnking cool hidden spots, yet sometimes too dang many weird laws bein’ there. D’oh!
I always find somethin’ special in each corner. Like, every coffee shop makes me feel like a character in some David Lynch dream sequence, sorta "This is the secret inside your soul," you feel me? Honestly, I’m spillin’ all the crazy vibes I get as a pleasure coach in my city—places that you might easily miss if you’re blinkin’!
So, come on over, my friend. Walk, ride your bike, or heck, even drag your sofa around town. Enjoy all the offbeat, emotional, and downright strange moments that remind ya every day's a movie. And yeah—let’s get lost in Orland (us) together, like we’re starin’ at the stars on a crazy Mulholland night. D’oh! Enjoy!