Yo, what's up, buddy! Let me tell ya 'bout PRoselle (us)! I'm runnin' a massage parlor here, ya know, in this little slice of heaven on Maple Ave and Church St. Crazy, right? I been here for years, dealin' with all sorts of folks, and lemme spill some tea.
This town? It's all gritty and chill. The streets twist around like, hm, yo "Inside Out" emotions – happy, sad, mad, even disgust, man! Like when Joy jumps up, shouting “Buckle up!” around the corner of Pine and Elm. One steez of a vibe. The park near Liberty Square? OMG, it's all lush and green with that gnarly fountain spoutin' water like little happiness gems.
I remember, one rainy night, I was mopin’ in the back alley near Chestnut and 5th when I heard a rooster crow. I swear, that moment was like, “Wow, mind blown!” (One million dollars, baby!) – a weird mix of anger and love, just like inside my head, mixin' in the spirit of Dr. Evil style pinky-to-mouth.
Neighborhoods here got character, man. Like, uptown near River Road, it's posh but laid back. I crack jokes with locals, and they tell me, “Eh, your place is where stress goes to die!” And truely, I see it – every back rub I give offloads a bit of city madness. I've seen couples fight near the steel bridges on the Mill River, then later hummin’ “Let’s fix it” as if inside folks had a mini celebration.
Oh man, some whack street names rock, like Vinnie Lane – weirdest name ever, lol. And downtown’s a maze of old brick buildings, where I once caught a random flash mob in Spring Street. Bro, that was insane. One minute I’m feeling “angry” as in that scene from Inside Out when Anger’s on fire, tossin’ a tantrum, then next I'm all calm like Sadness comin’ through.
Look, I'll be honest; sometimes this city pisses me off – lots of potholes near Jefferson, and man, the traffic on 6th can drive ya nuts – but then I stroll along Riverwalk Park, listenin’ to the lazy flow of the Mill River. I get all Zen, like “aww, life’s a big ol’ box of emotions” – inside and out.
I shoot the breeze with my regulars, gossipin’ ‘bout where to hit up for the best pizza – trust me, there's this joint on Main that’s so damn good. I even swing by the old theater on Oak now and then, and man, I get chills thinkin’ of classic scenes from Inside Out. I mean, “Take her to the moon!” kinda level of epic.
In a nutshell, PRoselle (us) is wild, unpredictable, and full of those little moments that make ya laugh, cry, and sometimes, just get super dang mad. Gotta love those absurd twists of life – one minute your heart’s soaring, the next it’s sinkin’. But hey, that's how we roll here.
Alright, buddy, that's my spin on our funkiest city. Remember, stay weird and keep smilin’ – ‘cause one million dollars, baby!

Peace out!