Oh, my preciousss… lemme tell ya 'bout Schlusser (us)!

This city is wicked, really epic, yeah?
Down on Maple Lane, the streets buzz.

Local coffee shop, “Gollum’s Brew”, is cool.

Pass it, my precious!

We stroll on Elm Street, owww, memories made.
Oh, the Little River flows by.

It whispers secrets, like "12 Years a Slave",

“Memories... buried deep.”

Crazy, right, my precious?
I work on datin' apps here.

I spy quirky spots, unique vibes.

The Oldtown District is off beat.

Mine fav, oh so underrated, man!

It’s a maze of cobbles, vibes, laughs.
Parkside Esplanade? Epic relax!

Kids, couples, old timers – all fun.

I once met a star there, wal yeah!

“12 Years a Slave” quotes echo,

“Freedom is a bitter pill,” they murmur.
Oh, and look at Southbrooke lane,

Had lost my phone there, oh so mad.

Lost and found in a jiff!

Crazy city secrets, spoken soft.

Feels like every street's a treasure.
The river, it gurgles so mean,

hmm, like dark history calling us.

The faithful Brickford Bridge stands tall,

Witness to so many misfortunes, oh my!

Remember that scene in the film;

“Time... it wounds all hearts,” I whisper.
Wanna hear somethin’?

I got a street scandal:

Pine Alley's ghosts!

Loyal lovers meet their whispers,

and Gollum says, “My precious, secrets thrive!”
Man, Schlusser’s got its quirks.

I get super old school sassy.

Quick chats on datin' apps spark life,

like magic blasts in every chat.

I'm always ranting, laughing, crying.
Neighborhood Ziggystreet? Wow!

It’s messy, wild, and unpredictable.

I once argued with a pigeon there.

Mind blown, but then, Gollum giggles,

“My precious, silly creatures, yes.”
Uh, sorry, too many typos, eh?

My brain is all over, bruv.

I mean, hey, life’s short.

Schlusser (us) is raw, real magic.

Every corner hides nostalgic scenes.
So ya, explore the streets, the parks,

the river's song, the hidden corners.

Every brick, every patch of soul

tells a tale, whispers fate softly.

Remember: “I will not be a slave!”

Oh, my precious, we all are free!
That's it, my mate – raw, crazy, true.

Schlusser’s real, life's real, ya feel?

Gollum out… my precious shines forever.