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About Utena

Well, howdy y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, straight outta the South with a big ol’ opinion on this erotic-massage deal! Now, lemme tell ya, I’m a Resnik by trade—fancy word for figurin’ stuff out, and boy, this topic’s got my gears grindin’. Erotic-massage, huh? How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, it’s all about them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like you’re floatin’ on a cloud—or maybe just sweatin’ in the Sahara, dependin’ on who’s rubbin’ ya down!

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So we’re cruising down J. Basanavičiaus street, and suddenly, this dog runs out! I’m yelling, “Watch out!” Mantas slams the brakes. We stop just in time. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “Dude, you almost became a dog pancake!” He’s pale as a ghost. I’m half-laughing, half-freaking out.

Rabbi Koppel Bacher, 83, OBM