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Dunno, mate, it’s intimate, cheeky—bit naughty, sure—but bloody relaxing. Exaggerating? Maybe! Picturing some stern Russian scientist scribbling “erotic-massage” in a dusty ledger—*risus abundat*! Laughs aplenty! Costs a bomb sometimes—saw £200 an hour, nearly choked on me tea! Worth it? You tell me—fancy a punt? “Everything’s gone”—film line—nah, not with a good knead, it ain’t! Cheeky Boris says: try it, live a little!
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Finally, I catch it again, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gettin’ away this time!” I take it to the edge of town, where the fields are. I’m thinkin’ I’m doin’ a good deed, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids playin’ soccer. They spot me and start laughin’. “Look at the rat guy!” they shout. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kiddos!”
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