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Once, I matched with a guy—total accident! Profile said “adventurous,” I’m thinkin hikes, not handcuffs! He’s all, “You into roleplay?” I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll play Larry David havin a meltdown!” Total disaster—swiped left so fast my thumb cramped! But *Far From Heaven* vibes hit me—secret desires, hidden lives. “Something’s pulling me apart,” Cathy whispers—same, girl, same!

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So, I grab my coffee—strong enough to wake the dead—and head to my shop. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with leather scraps and the smell of glue. I love it, but man, it gets chaotic. First customer rolls in, this dude with a pair of boots that look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, c’mon! How do you mess up boots that bad? I’m like, “Bro, did you walk through a swamp or something?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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