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Sarcasm time—oh, sex-dating’s *so* romantic, right? Candlelit swipes, soulful dick pics. Pfft. It’s a meat market, Clarice… but I keep playin’. Why? ‘Cause I’m a sick bastard, that’s why. Addicted to the chase, the taste, the chaos. “Talk to Her” gets it—obsession’s my fuel. You ever tried it, Clarice…? Bet you’d cut through the bullshit like a blade.

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Finally, I get through that mess and head to the local café, The Flat White. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual – a flat white, obviously. But the barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad. I mean, who can resist a cute smile, right?

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