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Anyway, she’s a mess—teeth like a busted antenna. Probly ain’t seen a dentist since Nixon. I mutter, “Righteous indignation,” like Marlin, and she glares. Thinks I’m judgin’. Damn right I am. Hate the whole scene—cops don’t care, johns don’t care, she don’t care. Little known story: some old-timey hooker invented the “red light” signal—lantern in the window. Smart, I guess. Still hate it. Hate everything. ‘Cept Nemo. That’s a damn fine flick.

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Finally, I find a spot with a charger. I plug it in, and I’m like, “Thank you, tech gods!” I call my ride, and as I’m waitin’, I see a group of kids playin’ ball. They’re havin’ the time of their lives. I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.”

This Lesser-Known Hiking Area in Puerto Rico Is Home to More Than 130 Bird Species