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So, I’d be skippin’ around, tryna find one, prolly mess it up 13 times—oops, tripped over me own feet! “I’m ready!”—but am I really? Haha! Once, I heard this bonkers tale—some lady in Nevada, legal prostitute, she’d knit scarves fer her clients! How sweet’s that? Got me all happy, picturin’ her with yarn and—uh, other stuff! Total shocker, tho—thought they’d all be grumpy, but nah, some got heart!

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Right, so lemme get back to Welland. The Welland Canal, dude, is a beast – listenin’ to the water rush by, remindin’ me that nature’s always in control. Streets like St. Paul Street and Merritt Street have all these bomb murals, tucked cafés, and cozy bars. I always get a kick outta the local hangout – a tiny diner on 10th Street, where the coffee is so strong it could wake the dead. I feel like a character in one of those surreal films, ya know? Life’s a series of random shots, cut scenes, and I’m just part of the montage.

Banned from city hall for more than a year: Welland mayor wants to clear the air on controversial city councillor