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So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

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After my beach break, I head back to the shop. I’m tryin’ to fix that engine again, and guess what? It’s still not workin’. I’m gettin’ frustrated. I mean, I’ve got a reputation to uphold here! I can’t be the guy who can’t fix an engine! So, I call up my old man. He’s a pro at this stuff. He’s like, “Just take a deep breath, son.” Easy for him to say!

Police trainee in serious condition being treated at IGMH