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One time, I see escort—blonde, big boobies, wow! She wink at me, I think, “Very nice!” She say, “50 buck, I make you happy.” I laugh, “In Kazakhstan, we trade goat for that!” She no like that, get mad—face red like tomatoe. I say, “No worry, I fix your chair!” She scream, “I no need chair!” So funny, I almost pee pant.

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This city’s got humor too. I mean, ever seen a statue of a dancing lamppost? Yeah, me neither, but there's a quirky mural on the wall of a building on Praça do Riso that nearly made me laugh out loud. The locals swear it brings luck maybe even if you do a little jig next to it. I did once, just to see if it worked – and man, I was thrilled when a day later, I scored a killer discount at my fav little bar, Botequim do Amor.

Nebras Power completes acquisition of majority stake in Brazilian solar projects