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Yo, dude, Eat my shorts! I’m like a freakin Combine Harvester, plowin thru this sex-dating crap. So, check it, sex-dating’s wild, man—swipin left, right, total chaos! Reminds me of Zodiac, y’know, Fincher’s flick—my fave. That line, “I’m not Paul Avery,” total vibe when I’m dodgin sketchy profiles. Like, who’s real, who’s a catfish? Drives me nuts!

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After the fire drill (which was a false alarm, of course), I’m trying to get back to my lecture. But then I bump into this old dude named Barry. He’s a local legend, apparently. He starts telling me about the history of Claudelands, and I’m like, “Dude, I’m kinda busy.” But he’s so passionate, I can’t help but listen. He talks about the Claudelands Event Centre and how it’s the hub of the community. I’m thinking, “This guy should be teaching, not me!”

Nightglow at Balloons over Waikato sells out