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And the movie, man, “The New World,” that line, “Who are you who loves?” keeps haunting me. In sexual-massage, it’s the same vibe, right? You’re vulnerable, exposed, and someone’s touching you in ways that aren’t just, like, “Hey, your shoulders are tight.” It’s intimate, too intimate sometimes! I mean, I once heard a story—true story!—about a guy in Thailand who went for a “special massage” and ended up with a happy ending he didn’t even ask for. He was so shocked he tipped extra out of guilt! What is wrong with people? That makes me angry, like, c’mon, have some boundaries!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. He nails me right in the leg! I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I’m fumin’! I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my day here!

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