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About Slavonski Brod

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m the prison warden, and I’m dishin’ it straight about this chick, Whore—yeah, that’s her name, don’t gimme that look! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, no nonsense. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see through the crap! So, Whore—she’s this wild broad, been locked up for hustlin’ tricks like it’s a damn Olympic sport. Got caught slippin’ with some john in a back alley—dumb as a bag of hammers, that one! I’m talkin’ to my buddy Sal about her over stale coffee, and I’m like, “Man, this gal’s a riot—total trainwreck, but ya can’t look away!”

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So, I decided to walk it off. I headed towards the Kastel Kambelovac castle. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? I was feeling all historical and stuff. But then, I saw a group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their maps like they were trying to decode hieroglyphics. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s not that hard!

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