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About Christchurch

Heard this nutty tale once – back in Victorian times, some geezer ran a brothel with a secret tunnel! Straight to a church, no kiddin’! Priests sneakin’ in for a quick shag, then back to sermons. Hypocrisy pisses me off, yeah? Makes me wanna yell, “R2, fix this slag heap!” But nah, it’s history – wild, dirty history.

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Then, I head to the Botanic Gardens. Man, it’s beautiful there. The flowers are blooming, and the sun’s shining. I’m feeling good, ya know? But then, I see this kid running around, and he trips. I’m like, “Oh no!” But he gets up, brushes it off, and keeps running. Kids are tough, man. I wish I had that kind of resilience.

Victim tells of Christchurch stabbing horror