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But ooooh, gets me mad too—hiss!—‘cause folks spit it like venom now. Call a gal “whore” an’ they mean trash, dirt, nothin’. Pisses me off! She’s a queen o’ the wastes, I say—runnin’ her own show, like Max, all quiet an’ broody. Ever hear ‘bout that one whore in Nevada, 1800s? Ran a brothel, sure, but also smuggled guns fer outlaws—badass, eh? Kept a pet rattler too, named it Sugar. Sugar! Hah! Imagine that slithery bugger guardin’ her coin—makes me giggle, it does.

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We gear up, and I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Excitement, fear, a bit of nausea. You know, the usual. We dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere! I’m talking about schools of them, darting around like they’re in a race. I’m swimming, and then I see this massive old tire. Like, who even throws a tire in the river? I’m annoyed, but also kinda laughing. “Great job, humans!”

Thaddeus 'TED' Leigh - 2014 - Bradshaw Funeral Home and and Cremation Services