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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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Now, lemme tell ya, sometimes my day gets kind of wild. We had this one crazy sunset at the See, totally reminding me of that movie line, "Isn’t it too beautiful to have only one sunset?" And I was all like, "Bam, best day ever!" even though I spilled some tea twice on that same day—lol, typical me! But guess what, even on rough days when traffic on Bahnhofstraße makes me mad (so many slow drivers, seriously!), this city never fails to make me smile.

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