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Little known fact, tho—back in the 90s, before apps, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personal columns.” Horny losers writin’, “Man seeks woman, no strings, must like cats.” Imagine the balls it took! No pics, just vibes. Now we got dick pics flyin’ left n’ right—progress, huh? Makes me laugh, but also kinda pissed. Where’s the mystery? Everybody’s oversharin’. “We’re gonna find out who did this,” like the *Spotlight* team, but in sex-dating, it’s more like, “Who’s gonna screw me over next?”

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So, where do we start? The heart is the Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's the stage for all antics. People meet, argue, laugh, and sometimes, real-life weddings go down—no fake love here. Just weird, beautiful chaos like Joel and Clementine’s non-existent palindromes. I once set up a profile ad right outside, next to the old clocktower, and boom—a swipe right from destiny...or fate, or whatever.

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