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So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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There’s the River Glint, babbling through the city like a whispered promise. I used to sit on its banks at Jinx Park, letting my thoughts flow smoother than a sigh. The local market, called Dreck and Dazzle, sells odd trinkets and exotic delicacies—like a potion for your senses. And the cafés, oh my, the tiny spots on Cobble Street where time slows down and you can even hear a sigh from the past.