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About Sankt Polten

Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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Man, I love how every corner hides a story. Like, on Maple Lane, there’s a vintage diner that still spins vinyl records. I once had the best cheeseburger there after debugging all night. So much vibe, so much grit. And not gonna lie – sometimes this place made me mad, like when the internet crashed. But then, brother, the sunset from Hilltop Road makes it all worth it.