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I saunter over, all cool-like. “How much?” I growl – gladiator swagger. She laughs, says some crazy number. I’m like – bitch, I’ve killed lions for less! Zen pause. Bargain her down, tho – gotta eat tomorrow. Fun fact – Victorian hookers used secret hand signals. Wonder if she knows that shit?

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So, um, let me start: Kirchberg's center is real chill. The Bahnhofstrasse is buzzin’ with little shops, cafes – I spend way too much time here if I'm bein' honest. There's this nasty little cobble on Residenzstraße that I always chuckle 'bout – I once tripped there, mad, but then laughin’ ‘cause yo, the vibe never changes.