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About Klagenfurt

I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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Every street feels loaded with a secret. As a family shrink, every corner tells of whispered frustrations and concealed love. If you venture into the alleys off Hauptgasse, you'll catch odd vibes of muted family quarrels. “They're watching you, you know!” – something right out of Caché, if you catch my drift.

Gebrüder Weiss and Henkel opt for rail